Monday Blues.
Today is my Monday blues and it goes the same to a few colleagues of mine. Gosh, i had a difficult time waking up this mornin - no specific reason, just Monday blues! hahaha.

Work was fine today, as always. Somehow............... there were a few things that toned my mood down. Those are -
1) How can i be more initiative? Am i being initiative enough or not?
2) What can i do to improve myself?
3) Am i handling the kids the right or wrong way?
4) How do i make these kids love coming to class everyday?

I was prompting Ilhan to continue with his letter activity during Language period.... Since Ilhan's mood wasnt too good today, he pretended that he doesnt know how to do it and delayed working on it. I tried my best to persuade him..... and then i said "something" to him. Upon hearing that, Clyde(Teacher - for my N2 class) immediately told me that i could try said that "something" in another way. I was kinda paisey when he gave me on that advise BUT im really glad that he pointed me out. Just that, when i thought to myself.... then i went "Why didnt i think of that?!"

Luckily my morning schedule was very relaxing. All i did was joking around with Charles while at cleaning up some admin boxes which Ashley asked our help for and putting in pocket files for a class's portfolios. And that was how my mornin till lunch went by. Cool uh? *winks

*wonder how my tomorrow will be....

Im cravin for a bagel right now. Toasted... eating it together with the yummy cream cheese. OooOo Lala!!!

D's sick today - down with flu and fever. He sounded rather bad on the phone this evening. I hope he's having a good sleep.

=)

Ayte, i gtg now.
Got to see to some stuffs.
Adios amigos cheerios!
Muax muax muax everybody!

A Sunday.
The only day of the week that i could just bump and bump and bump. Like Sharul says, the only thing you can do during free time is to watch Hindi movies. hahahaha. Yess!! I did................ watch not a movie but a vcd of Hindi movie songs. And then... i got all emotional. LOL!

Well, i wasnt so emo laa to cry and stuffs.... what i did was, building castles in the air. Big happy castles in fact. =)

But all and all, i slapped back to reality. Too much dreaming is harmful to me laa dey. How i wished... life is as beautiful, romantic, humourous.... like the movies. Whereby there will be the theme song to express your emotions. =p

Actually i was thinking..... am i appreciating what i have? or am i wrong to ask for someone better? Is it a choice for me to choose between the 2 flaws or the 2 strengths as a companion? What if i thought that i was right but all along i was wrong? What if people assumed that im better with someone else? What IFs..............
The problem with me recently is that... i have all those questions at the back of my head, i cant seem to answer it myself. I'm sorry if im being wrong by questioning all that to whoever maybe hurt by it. But the thing is, Should i even apologise when in fact, im only tryin to find out more bout who or what i want or need in life? True enough that we make plans but the decision is still in HIS hands. Neither am i questioning HIS work nor i dont trust HIM. I just cant stop thinking all bout this cause it all comes down to 1 thing. That 1 thing that.. Im cool and fine bout it yet it kinda scares me alot too at the same time, and that is - MARRIAGE.

Plans have been made. Yet, im still unsure. Unsure if that was the best or the right decision I've made so far. I dont know. haiz.

The feelings just fade away. Sometimes the warmth is felt so deep inside my heart... and sometimes.... its just not there; fadin away slowly.. Why do i feel such way? Most of the times, i just feel - ouh, okay. So?
What i used to feel last time.... isnt here with me anymore. Those mushy2 cuddly2 pampering and all...... are gone.

Dilemma.

Im serious with whatever i do or plan. But................................... haiz.

"Sometimes, its better left unspoken.." -anonymous mentor

*wonders..

My words are getting as sharp as a sword. Piercing through you like no one's business. Gosh, am i getting heartless? sheesh.

Back to my story -
What if............ that somebody out there, who doesnt tell or share, but just exist... is the one. Who doesnt dare to say much... but just being there. Who understands and supports since the day i needed it... but expressing it all through the eyes & warmth. What if............................??

Do YOU exist? Do YOU?? hmmmmmmz..........

Well, its all just dreams. Dreams that cant be grasped. Dreams that are can never be reality. Dreams that just soothes the heart. Dreams that play with your mind. Dreams....... they are just dreams. For whats real, is in front of you. Right?

I still have to learn how to appreciate the one thats within my reach, thats willing to die for me, thats always been my shadow my rain my sunshine, thats been my arguements and laughters... to YOU, Thank YOU.... thank you for all that you've done for me. Im sorry if i wasnt being good enough all this while, for im still searchin myself. Lotsa love from me, Naya.

Whokie peeps, sorry if this blog is very emotional today.
haha.
Takin care always!
Muax muax muax

p.s: Spread love not revenge and hatred. you rock!!

WOW! Time does pass really fast uh. It has been a mth since i last blog my diary. Life's been great for me! Just to sum things up, work is the best thing that has ever happened in my life right now. Im just lovin every single bit of it, everyday different stories unfold... Gosh, can u believe it??? Im gonna say - I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO GO WORK EVERYDAY! 1 big achievement i've made so far.

And, i can strike out 1 of my wishlist - the purple elephant. Well, i didnt exactly get what i wanted. BUT, i got a cute cuddly Eyeore. heeeeeeee!

I've been wantin to upload pics into my blog. The prob is.... all my pics are in my lappy (which isnt with me now) and im too lazy to upload into bro's lappy u see. hmmmz... *winks*

I'll try my best to update the blog every now and then. Cause, the job's really exhaustin me out every single day. To the extent, i dont have time for internet. Sucks uh.

Btw ppl, check this video out - The Arrival at youtube.com
Its good. Seriously. *big smile*

Ayte, catch up with ya soon.
Gtg darls.
muax muax.

I just realised something.
I am really an EMOTIONAL person. hahahahahahaha!
The thing is... i was readin the tagboard... and suddenly i went "awwwww...."
Before that, i was checkin my frensta acc and i changed my profile song to a jazz song - Home by Michael Buble.
And suddenly..i thought to myself, how wonderful life is.

Arent all those strong enough to prove that i am EMO.
kental laaaaaa sey! LOL!

Drop that subject.

Move on.

I miss my class!!!!!!!! Im soo attached to the kids there.
Last night, i felt like callin out their names to ask for a hug. Crazy uh.
Bluergh.
Each time i think of those kids there..... i feel as if, i have this certain energy rushin in me.. wanting to go all out and do anythin & everythin with the kids. Its like, im willing to learn and go far from here. Im on the amber light right now. Once its green, i'll speed i guess. hahaha.







i miss secondary school.
i miss my friends from there.
i miss the whole life about.. just gettin to fall in love, failing subjects, canteen, school bell.....

but im soo glad that i was happy back then.
Happy-Go-Lucky me.
=)

Some things... are meant to stay as memories.
Some things... are left unspoken.
And some things... are just forgotten along the way.

Bluergh!

Have a gd day.
Muax muax.

It's a NEW START!!!!
Today was my 2nd day at work. Im so grateful that i got the opportunity to get this current job as an Assistant Teacher. =)
Alhamdulillah......

Kids. They are truly colourful. They have such a strong imaginative mind. I remembered during the interview my centre manager asked... What are you looking forward in this job if you're given the opportunity to work here?.. .. . .. My reply was: One thing that i believe that is important in life is to have a career. Having a stable career doesnt mean good income, buyin expensive clothes or eating at high end restaurants and all. In fact, it is more important to know that whether im havin a stable career or not is realising.... do i look forward to go to work everyday? do i feel happy at work? am i happy or satisfied with the work im doing or did? Since i love kids.... i thought... why not.. i combine those 2 factors together as one... Kids + Satisfaction = Happy Working. I want to bring smiles and joys to lives.. yet with a satisfactory feeling. Then my dad persuaded me non-stop to be Teacher. So i thought to myself, no harm trying. But i believe that i can do it. Cause i know i can. =)

Maybe its still too early for me to say...... but i hope i'll go far from here. Seriouosly, the kids make me wanna stay there. Intelligent angels, i would say. hahaha! Im gonna have a long weekend next week. I get half day on xmas eve, xmas, sat and sun. Then the following week, half day for new year's eve.

Ouh btw...... what's on YOUR new year's resolution wish list?? hahahahaha. Im so glad that im ending this year with a great sense of satisfaction. My 2008 resolution was to get a job that makes me feel happy, stress-free & alive. hahaha *winks

Okie, here goes my wishlist for 2009 resolution:
1) a class 2b license & get myself a nice bikey OR get my own car
2) a new hp (maybe a flip phone)
3) a DPT or DPL cert *smiles widely (depends on how i progress at work)
4) at least a few thousand bucks in my savings! heeeeee............................................................

ayte2.. its getting late. im goin slp now!!
have a nice dae peeps!
muax muax muax

"Life isnt about choosing between the evil and the good. If that's the case, life would have been much more easier. The reality is...... to choose between the lesser of two evils or the greater of two goods."

Hiiiieeeee people!!!!!!! *waves frantically
miss me??? GOOOOD NEWS!!! GOOOOOOD NEWS!!!!!!!!

I GOT THE PRESCH JOB AS AN ASST TEACHER!!!!!! yessss ah!! Lotsa thanks to Allah and my peeps who gave me your well wishes!! So for now, im just waiting for the HR to call me up to sign the contract and all. WOW! Imagine me....a teacher?? Seriously, the kids there are soo adorable. I think i can learn English from them. hahahaha!

And.... i got for mama the baju as a bdae gift! she LOVES it!

And... And.... the panc outing was not at pengerang. Went to a kelong somewhere opposite pasir ris. Well, my rod caught a baby pari. hehehhehehe. kinda thrilled went i saw it clingin onto my rod laaa sey. hmmmmm.........i wanna go panc at THE POND one fine day. =)

Im happy that i've been smiling alot these days. Reason? ermz................im not sure actually. heee! Im so excited laaa.... D's bdae comin up and i've been brainstormin alot, hell alot. hope it will all work out smoothly. heeeeeeeeeeee. *blushing

Whokie, wont keep this post long.
Keep in touch people, May my force be with you!

Peace out.
Muuuuuuaaaaaaaxxxxx!


p.s: to fir, i'll try to be online when im free so u can help me with the cbox thingy yaa. to my peeps that have been readin my diaree, sorry if i havent got the chance to read yours cause my cbox creatin prob and i cant link to yours!

★ my Mr. D ★ ★ Sharul ★ ★ Haney ★

acknowledgements

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